


don't forsake me (take what the water gave me)

by aionimica



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben gets a good look at Rey's white t-shirt contest entry, Canon Compliant, Drowning, Dying Kylo Ren, Ep 9 speculation, F/M, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Near Death Experiences, Near Drowning, Not Really Character Death, Rebirth, rescusitation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 09:56:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19129690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aionimica/pseuds/aionimica
Summary: During the battle on the water, something strikes the platform Kylo is standing on and he falls far into the ocean below.





	don't forsake me (take what the water gave me)

**Author's Note:**

> just a little ficlet. 
> 
> make sure you read the tags because there is detailed descriptions of drowning and near death experiences. no one dies and this does have a happy ending but please read and pay attention and do not read if this might be triggering for you. the rating is for the near dying experiences and some descriptions at the end
> 
> title from ["What The Water Gave Me" by Florence + the Machine](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjNxdTQltjiAhUiZN8KHRohD5IQyCkwAHoECA0QBQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dam6rArVPip8&usg=AOvVaw3SGlThfqeQDaOuAi9BORBY)
> 
> i hope you enjoy and as always, please share and comment if you like it! <3

* * *

 

 

Dying is a special kind of agony.

It’s not pain. That he expects: the staggering ache that renders him almost useless, the desperation to escape it only for a moment. That he knows. No, it’s something quieter, softer, something seemingly gentler.

Kylo’s eyes open. The water around him is dim and murky. He spins for a moment, not sure which way is up or down. Debris floats around him – the remnants of what he was standing on before it fell into the sea. Something shot it, but he doesn’t remember what… Not even now, when he can’t find his way out.

He pauses and looks for the light, for bubbles, for anything to give him a guide, but it’s all the same. The same sea of nothingness. He reaches out in the Force and with that spot in his mind – that one bright, frantic, shining spot who didn’t fall into the ocean with him – he begins to swim.

But it’s not long before his legs begin to ache and his lung begins to burn.

 _Breathe_.

It’s gentle. More of a suggestion than a command.

He pushes through. He steadies himself, remembers his training. There is a war above, though it’s quiet down here and he has to get back to her. He _has_ to. Only together do they have any hope of defeating—

 _Breathe_ , his body commands.

Kylo staggers at the first pain in his chest. The burn is now a consuming fire and there is so much water around him to cool it down.

 _Breathe_ , his mind demands.

_NO._

Just as he’s about to choke, the word snaps in his mind. Rey. Looking for him. Feeling him. He tries to keep going, but his muscles give and he flounders and it would be so simple to just _breathe_ …

_DON’T YOU DARE._

He tries to hold, but his body spasms in a reflex beyond his control and he opens his mouth wide and breathes and fails. Salt water coats his lungs and he coughs it out only to bring it back in again, again and again until there is nothing left and there is no energy left and it’s just that hunger, hunger, hunger as the world fades to black.

 _Rey_ …

_I’M COMING, JUST HOLD ON._

And that’s the agony. That his mind roars as his body shudders to a halt and that his last thought is of her. Looking for him – feeling him feel this. _Rey_. He doesn’t see the hand in the dark.

The last thing he hears, shattering any stillness he might find, is a cry.

_BEN!!_

~

Living is agony.

It’s the burning in his lungs as brine lingers behind after he vomits and coughs, spilling seawater. It’s the bone-cracking break in his chest as she pounds on his sternum in succession, pumping his heart while his own failed to do so.

Everything aches. Everything is cold and Ben shivers uncontrollably as feeling comes back into his limbs. She stops when she hears him and falls back on her heals and smiles and then laughs and then cries.

Everything is wet: her hair, her clothes; tears running down her face. Salt mixing with salt.

“You’re alive…” He feels more than sees how she collapses on his chest, holding him gently and close. Her breath is warm on his skin, where her lips hover above his collar, over bare skin. “I thought I’d lost you…”

 _Yes_ , he wants to say, but his lips don’t work. Not yet, not while air is so precious. Gingerly he moves his hand, but only his fingers flex before the whole limb moves and he’s holding her hand. Or as close as he can manage.

She holds it tight and he smiles. He can give her that.

Rey is warm. Her hand on his burns in the kindest way, just as the way she curls up on him and warms him from the outside.

“Come on.” Her fingers hurry along the fastenings of his tunic. “We need to get you out of these. We need to get you warm.”

Somehow she’s more efficient with his wet clothes than he ever is with them dry. She’s got them in a cave – a dry cave, with a fire crackling not far off and Ben finds himself the warmest he’s ever been. He’s naked in front of her, curled up with his back to the flames. She’s wearing hardly anything and what she does have is white and wet and does nothing to curb his imagination which is more active than he’d prefer given his current state.

Living is agony.

It’s the thinness of her bindings, still damp enough that the shape of her breasts is all but visible to his naked eye. It’s the way he sees it all: how they come off her chest just so – pert and perfect for her and so cold despite her heat, nipples peeking through the thin, white fabric. It’s the way he want to reach around and grab her and hold her close and nibble and suck on each breast until her nipples are stiff and peaked under his tongue. Unfortunately, his chest still burns with each breath, so he’ll suffer with watching them harden under the heat of his gaze. She blushes when she catches his eye, but doesn’t shy away.

And living is bliss.

It’s the way she undresses further before coming to his side. It’s the way her hair falls down from her ties until it’s curled and damp against her shoulders. It’s her – Rey in her completeness – who he finds himself at her mercy and the seat of her grace. It’s the way she lays down next to him, her warmth spilling over onto him as she kisses him; her lips warm and soft – shocking against his cold tongue. She smells of salt and tastes of it – of tears and the sea – and Ben can’t help but reach an aching hand out to hold her close.


End file.
